Zolan's Blog

A cool coworker gave me the idea of telling stories from other people (Thanks Keila). Even though I still have some of my own stories to put into words this is a short but funny story my Dad has told me. Grant it, this is a second hand story and I naturally add my own 'spice' to my stories.. What writer doesn't? In fact, I imagine my Dad also added his own 'spice' to the story but I guarantee that the major events in the story are absolutely true. Anyway, I have plenty of little stories my Dad's told me over my life so I might as well get them written down so the rest of the world can share in the humor.

This is one of the few.. Scratch that... This was the only time that I was fairly certain I was going to die in a foreign country. My best friend had just gotten engaged and we, of course, needed to throw one hell of a bachelor party. One major problem we ran into was we were all around 18 - 20 years old. Please keep in mind that this happened many years ago... To have a rockin' party, as we all thought at the time, we needed to be not very sober at all. In other words, we needed alcohol but we couldn't legally drink in the US so Canada sounded like a great idea. Yes, it's possible to drink underage in the US but Canada also had a few other benefits to it. We could drink at strip clubs. Let the party begin.

Amazingly I've already, as of the time of writing this, have had two requests for me to add this story. Though the title of the story is great I'm not completely sure it is anywhere near as good as the other two previous stories.

This story happens a few weeks after 'Finding Grandpa' and quite a while before 'Bomb Squad'. It does require some back story though, prepare yourself for another flash back.

For continuity sake I will have to say that my House Building stories are by no means in chronological order. 'Finding Grandpa', happened before both, 'Bomb Squad' and the soon to come, 'Oh My God, That's A Skull!' stories.

Though this story is not nearly as action packed as 'Bomb Squad' it definitely has a twist that generally still makes me shiver to this day.

Well, this is going to be the first in, I'm guessing, many stories from building a house. I never knew what kind of crazy stuff went on when you had your own chunk of land. To give all readers who don't know my story a short history of my situation, I shall take you into a brief flashback then tell you the wild story of the bomb squad...

I'm a firm believer that wisdom is knowing that you don't know and control everything. Once you know you are fallible then you realize that you do not always make the right decisions or even when you do they don't work out as well as planned. Once you realize that, you can more fairly judge what's going on around you.

That being said, the name "wisdom tooth" makes a whole lot more sense. I realize that it would have eventually had to been removed but I am beginning to realize that right or not, this has been an unexpected ordeal. I've had an interesting time with it, here is what happened.

As of 04/22/2005 I went off the market. I ponied up the money, bought the ring and made my proposal. It didn't go over like the movie-like proposal I was hoping for, but it still got the job done. It went a little something like this...

It's becoming more and more obvious to me that I am a magnet for strangeness. I attract the strangest people, I get myself into the strangest situations. See previous post for coffee incident. (Click "Read More..." to see my story)

This is going to be a quick posting... Mainly for me to rant about PHP and to verify that my blog still works. PHP made programming way to easy with registered globals before they were defaulted to off and once I decided my site should run without registered globals pretty much ALL of my code broke. So for the past half a month my site has not been working properly. I believe that I have cleaned up all my code now so my site is working again without them pesky registered globals. Well, working if you see this post. If you don't see this post, my site is still borked at which point you will not know there is a problem because you will not see this post therefore not knowing that anything had changed that would have broken my site. However, the good news is, if you don't see this post it is actually the fault of the PSG guys, not me. Clear as mud?

Went up in the mountains with my girlfriend and my parents. The first night was rainy and nasty, the second night we had to get some loud annoying jackasses kicked out of the campsite, and the last night was peaceful. It was a fun trip. I got one heck of a sun burn on my back. It was my first time with no cell phone leash what so ever in longer than I can remember so I enjoyed the hell out of it.

I have pictures up at my photo gallery of Walupt Lake.

The only two major things site wise that I added were The Tree Man Chronicles and I moved Song Crossfire to it's own domain with a whole new site update.

The Tree Man Chronicles is mostly maintained by a co-worker. It is about a guy that lives in the trees that grow near our workplace. He, no shit, lives in this little bunch of trees in a tent. It's strange enough that we needed to put a site up about him.

Of course Song Crossfire is another co-worker, Darryl, and I doing wild song interpretations.

As for life, not much new to report. I'm going on a camping trip this weekend so I'd assume there's going to be something worth while to report after that.

Ok, I recently went to Linux World Expo. The Expo itself was great, but the city can go to hell.

Just an hour after getting there, some asshole walked up to me on the street corner and smacked my coffee into my face. Then he just walked away. I'm fairly certain he was attempting to provoke me into fighting so I didn't give him the thrill. My friend then looked over at me and said, "I guess he didn't like your coffee."

Later that night after we left the Expo we had a homeless drunk guy come up to us in a Carl's Jr. and start making chit chat. He apparently didn't like me as he accused me of taking all the credit for the work my friend was doing. I didn't know what exactly that meant, but he seemed mad about it and was asking me if I wanted to brawl. After telling me "I'm not fucking around!" he followed up with "Oh, go on.. Eat. Be merry." Somewhere in the middle of the conversation I do recall him informing us, "Jesus, my balls are on fire!", and he held a conversation with Teddy Roosevelt while we were sitting there. We ended up just giving him our scraps and leaving.

Next day we walked through another seedy part of town at which point we saw some idiot trying to steal something like a skateboard. He got his ass pinned down and was trying to explain that they had no authority over him... Sure looked like they had authority to me...

During that night I had the benefit of hearing some group of guys singing while walking down the road, some opera singer, and some blood curdling scream which I'm sure had to do with a murder or something.

All in all, I can honestly say that San Francisco is the wretched deep recesses of the anus of the United States, otherwise known as HELL. I'm sure I missed some other stuff that happened but these were the major things. Not a pleasant trip...